A little aimless

  sooo............ its been a rather long time since i've blogged something about myself. like just 'bout myself. like a more wordy kinda post. i think i rarely do this 'cause i always find myself unable to express myself online plus i always backspace whatever i have typed in this box just because they don't seem right to me. man it was so much easier when i was 14 or so. (refer here

 its been a rather mundane year so far and honestly i don't feel accomplished. i think i'm just like a boat... floating aimlessly?? lol clich√© much. i guess thats how everyone feels after completing their 'o' level? or is that just for a period of time? or is it just me? i don't know. i know where i am going after this break but sometimes i feel so uncertain about myself. like.... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO HUIQIN??? WHAT??? sometimes it gets really frustrating 'cause i have such much time right now and i'm just wasting it away. literally. and then theres my cousin who studies like mad. 24 hours to him is everything and to me... its just another day. i think when i read this post again in a few years i would probably curse myself for not treasuring this break. hahaha i would probably be crying while doing my projects. 

(i actually did thought of doing something big, something that would or may be part of my future but..... no balls to accomplish it all by myself. or maybe i will think about it again and gather my courage and... just do it.)

 well.... when i think about it again i think i did accomplish a few things. (note: things that i was planning to do after 'o' level.) things like visiting the library and borrowing books until my bag is full, painting after so long, spending time with my friends, working a part time job and unplanned shoots that actually turned out pretty well. wah lol........ i feel so dumb and unaccomplished again when i reread what i just typed. i just realised how boring i am. okay nevermind 'cause on the bright side.. theres this oversea trip that i'm going with my family and i'm really excited about it!! honestly i still have not really registered the fact that i'm leaving this country in a week or so. i guess this trip will make this break a whole lot better? because i've been wanting to go somewhere meaningful and somewhere i've never been to. i just need a real break like those kinda WOW I WENT THIS PLACE AND DID THIS or WOW I DID THIS THAT DAY AND IT WAS AWESOME kinda thing. y'know? 

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